Pause and intentionally bring attention to the next 3 breaths
image by M. Lee Freedman
“What is patience? I like to start with the dictionary. Patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, difficulty, or annoyance without getting angry or upset. Upon reading this definition, one might well ask: "Am I sure I’ll encounter delay, difficulty, or annoyance in this life?" The answer is more than obvious (if something can be more than obvious). I don’t know anyone whose life is free of these three. In fact, I can’t recall a single day in my own life when at least one of them didn't make an appearance.
For many years, my reaction to the presence of any one of the three was to get “angry”—or at least “upset.” Then I realized that this response served only to make an already stressful and unpleasant situation worse. So I began making a conscious effort to respond to “delay, difficulty, or annoyance” differently. Sometimes the best I could do was “tolerate” their presence. But I kept at it and, with practice, I became better able to “accept” them open-heartedly as an inevitable part of life.
When I could do this—tolerate and sometimes even accept delay, difficulty, or annoyance—I noticed two things. First, being patient was a way of treating myself with compassion. Compassion is the act of reaching out to those who are suffering—including ourselves. I definitely suffer when I’m impatient, because lack of patience is a stress response to whatever is going on in my life. I can feel the stress in both my mind and my body. And so, cultivating patience is a way of taking care of myself, which is the essence of self-compassion.
Second, I noticed that being patient gave rise to a feeling of equanimity—a calmness of mind that makes it easier to ride life’s ups and downs without being tossed about like a boat in a storm. Seeing the correlation between patience and enhanced self-compassion and equanimity convinced me of the value of this practice. I thought, “Hmm. Less suffering and stress, coupled with more calm acceptance of life as it is…sounds good.”
-Toni Bernhard, J.D.
(excerpt from post Impatient? Why and How to Practice Patience)
If you are interested in reading the rest of the post including recommendations on how to practice patience, here is the link:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201305/impatient-why-and-how-practice-patience
Wishing you a mindful day
Lee
M. Lee Freedman
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